What Holds People Back from Starting
Many of my clients avoid meditating for one reason or another. Maybe you feel like your mind just races and you can't sit still or concentrate. That's ok! Since this is a PRACTICE, it's totally normal not to get it right at first! There will always be days it's harder to shut out your thoughts than others.
Some feel it is a practice that clashes with prayer. I truly see it as a vital part of prayer life. If prayer is you talking, meditation is you listening for the response. It's easy to skip that part. Meditation allows us to discern messages we get from our bodies, God, the Universe without all the noise of the outside world.
Many of my clients say it is hard to make time for meditation. I say that is a story you're telling yourself. Any change feels hard at first, it's normal. It's our brains trying to maintain normalcy. Ask yourself, if I am stressed and worried now, is that how I want to stay? Or can I find 5 minutes, take it out of social media time, or wake up a few minutes early to make time?
Some have said they can't afford a mediation app or class. Great news! There are plenty of free resources that I will give you in this post!
Getting Started
For many of us, the day starts with our feet hitting the ground running. We have no time or energy to do anything but react to what gets thrown at us. The good news is, the more you practice being present and not having all those thoughts bouncing around in your head, the better you will be at it, and the quicker you will be able to bring yourself back to the now.
I strongly recommend starting your practice without any expectations. When I first started meditating, I would beat myself up about my mind wandering, I would keep starting over and getting frustrated, and I would expect some amazing things to happen if I could stop my mind from swirling for a few minutes.
What I realized, was that I was being a perfectionist. Setting rules about what my experience SHOULD be didn't help me be consistent, or want to return to the practice. When I learned to just do my best and experiment with what worked for me, I started to really enjoy it and get more out of it.
I usually recommend my clients start with a guided meditation at first, to give them something to listen to and focus on. Keep it short. A 5-minute meditation is perfect for beginners. It's long enough for you to settle in and not so long that you start thinking about all the other things you have to do!
There are lots of places that have free meditations, YouTube, Insight Timer, Headspace, and Calm have some you can try for free. There is no shortage of meditations out there. The key is to find a person whose voice relaxes you, who says things that elicit emotion and calm in you, and that you enjoy listening to.
The great thing is you can tailor your daily meditation to how you're feeling! Feeling anxious? Find a mediation for calm. Feeling sad? Find a meditation to help you release it. Feeling like you just would like to breathe? Try a breathwork meditation. Feeling like you need more energy? There's a meditation for that!
Experiment with different kinds depending on your mood and then save the ones that really help you. It's ok to do the same meditation over and over if it gives you the effect you want. It helps me to have a list so if I am feeling wishy-washy about what I want to listen to, I can just pick one of my favorites.
Here are some of my meditations to try on for size!
How to Start a Regular Practice
I always recommend my clients establish a morning routine of time just for them. This is a great time to meditate! Starting your day with some calm and peace can set the tone for the whole day! Getting some time just for yourself helps you start the day in a good mood!
That said, nighttime is a great time to meditate as well, especially if it's a challenge for you to fall asleep, or if you tend to wake up in the night and have trouble falling back to sleep. Use the following steps to start a practice!
Choose a location that is quiet, and a time where you won't be interrupted for a few minutes. Tell others who are awake in your house that you will be unavailable for the next few minutes. (or do it before they wake up!)
Choose a mediation or set a timer for the amount of time you would like to meditate. You can meditate seated or lying down. Pay attention to whether you have the tendency to fall asleep when you meditate and adjust accordingly.
Make it part of your morning or nighttime routine. If necessary, set a reminder so you don't forget as you get accustomed to doing it. Make it a non-negotiable few minutes to yourself. If you miss it, reschedule it! Shoot for a daily practice, and if you fall away from it, be curious about why.
Take a few minutes to journal how you felt before your meditation and after it. Note any little "aha" moments you had during the meditation or anything else you'd like to remember.
Benefits of a Regular Mediation Routine
Like I said, go into your practice with no expectations of how it will help or specific things your practice MUST provide to you.
Just go into it with the intention that it will be good for you to help you move toward your happiest and healthiest self, and observe what happens.
According to Mayo Clinic, the following are some nice potential "side effects" of a regular meditation practice.
Gaining a new perspective on stressful situations
Building skills to manage your stress
Increasing self-awareness
Focusing on the present
Reducing negative emotions
Increasing imagination and creativity
Increasing patience and tolerance
Lowering resting heart rate
Lowering resting blood pressure
Improving sleep quality
How I Started
I started a meditation practice as part of my morning routine a few years ago. I struggled with anxiety and constantly felt stressed out. I was the queen of Dr. Google, always researching the various diseases my kids or I may have. I lived embarrassed about the past and worried about the future. I was rarely fully present in my own life!
I remember being at the park with my kids and worrying about a million things and not really enjoying the moment, and then worrying about why I wasn't enjoying the moment, feeling guilty for missing out, and then circling back to worrying about something.
It was an exhausting routine of worry, regret, and worry. I felt helpless to escape the hamster wheel. I felt like I was going crazy!
I also had some rather unhealthy habits. I would snooze the alarm til I had EXACTLY the time I'd need to get ready and get the kids off to school on a good day, and inevitably something unexpected would happen to make us late, which caused me more WORRY.
I didn't give myself adequate time to eat, relax, do the things I needed to do, or take care of getting myself ready in a way that made me feel good. Something needed to change.
Finally, after reading Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, I convinced myself to start getting up earlier and having some time to myself. I started meditating as part of my routine, and found that it helped me stay present, enjoy the little things more, and WORRY LESS!
I found myself being in a better mood from the get-go and taking time to engage with the kids instead of just yelling at them to hurry up! I started to look forward to my time in the mornings, and didn't really mind (most mornings) waking up earlier than the rest of the house so I could get my ME time!
Why Start?
Well, besides the clinical benefits listed above, I encourage you to start meditating for happiness. It is impossible to be happy when you feel like you're drowning in your to-do list, living in the past, or worried about the future. You can't be here AND there.
Learning to be more present, even for a few minutes a day helps call yourself back to the here and now when you start to spiral. It helps you live in the moment. You'll enjoy your days more, instead of feeling like you're living the same stressful day over and over.
So ask yourself, what would it feel like to worry less and enjoy your daily life more? Would it be worth waking up a little earlier, or going to bed a little earlier to make it happen? Could you use a little more calm? How could your life change for the better if each day started with more calm?